Living in The Past...

kadang2 rasa mcm baru semalam aku balik dari tadika. pakai tudung getah tarik. baju kurung hijau. morning routine wat senaman "HEAD & SHOULDER...KNEE & TOES (3x)...EYE, MOUTH, EAR, NOSE". love that routine. i drew my first house using crayon. that was my first masterpiece. i think i'm not growing up at all. feel like peter pan. guess i was just afraid of reality. i'm used to prepare meal for family since i was 9 yrs old till now. the same routine make me feel the time is freeze since my childhood. i always had this thought about what am i gonna be when i grow up. sometime it feels abnormal to say this since i am a grown up person. once in a while i felt lost and confuse. aku rasa salah satu sebab adalah...aku masih belom jadi ape yg aku impikan masa kecik dulu. so ak maseh rasa aku kat bangku sekolah lagi. i've to admit that life was not that easy and most of the time, it gives us headache. but i pray to Allah that i can live through it and be blessed by Him.

My advice to myself are:

1. please be patient in whatever happened in your life. u might cherish that moment of how it will give you valuable lesson.(hope so...)
2. please let the gone be by gone. no more anger and hate in your heart. it will kill you slowly without u realize.
3. forgiveness is your best friend
4. have faith in whatever you believe in.though most of them are not real, it just moves and motivate you.
5. change is not easy. hanging there, try your best and hope the change will make you a better person
6. stop pushing people out of your life. you'll die alone and loneliness might affected your sanity.
7. family first, bring your heart home. at least you have someone to turn to and blame everything to them (ahaha...quote from a song)
8. try not to take everything people say about you. appreciate yourself and be proud of what you have become.
9. rejection/regret/refuse - these words have affected you for a long time. some give you strength. some give slaps in face. but remember one thing: everything happened for reasons.
10. * DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY * \^_^/

Someone Like You - Adele

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

 extract from azlyrics.com

Secret Garden - That Man OST

OMG...i'm so in love with this song. inilah namanye xde koje. ahaha. i'm not a big fan of K-POP. but i do sometimes enjoy watching Korea movies especially "My Tutor Friend"...so hilarious. during the time of being a student and jobless, quite sometime i have free time. it's semester's break so i try to make used of that. hhihih....recently borrowing my brother's laptop. i browse his folder and i found SECRET GARDEN. at first i don't know much bout it. it sound soothing for late night drama. pe lagi ak pon layan. 

while watching, i caught by a lovely melody which was repeating during the drama, over and over again. Gosh...i fell in love with it. end up, aku berjaga sampai ke suboh sbb it is irresistible. i found out later that this drama was the best Korean drama for 2011. i'm so not up to date...heehee.I declared that SECRET GARDEN was the best Korean drama ever...biase laa kalu dh layan Korea nih, mcm tgh baring atas awan. really enjoyed the hilarious part.

the song keeps playing in my head.i can't help to sing a long and f.y.i i can pronounce it...kudos for me! till then...

it's been awhile since the last time...

hello there. it;s been awhile since my last post. aku cume xde mood nk coret ape2 kat blog nih. tapi hari ni ak mcm nk coret sesuatu. and NO its not about food. though food really is my best friend. hmm no doubt bout that. thanks to food, i've been "happily ROUND" since i can remember. ahaha...(this is a painful laughing to cover up everything). 

recently life is not as smooth as I planned before. too many downs rather than highlight moment. 2011 marked some big changes in my life. some may not think that. but i don't care. each person's personal moments are different than others. one that i could truly remembered was i've got the chance to perform Umrah. it was my wildest dream. I can never think I could go there and be part of this great ibadah. i never felt so calm and serene though there were lots of 'not so good experience'. all of those memories will always be part of me.I wish someday I will go to Mecca to perform Hajj and this time I would like to go with my other half. it could be the greatest moment in my life. I think...

2012 just started. today is 17th Feb. God, there were so many things happened since my last post.Now I'm a Master student.frankly, i don't know why i got myself into academic life. i remembered the last time, my degree years, that i swear i won't enrolled as a student anymore.but you know, when your life felt slow-mo and stranded, i have to do something to make it worth to live in. i've tried to find another job, but i was not lucky then. i just applied to do my Master with hope that i could change my boring routine life. i quit my job and be a student. whoaa...that is really something i can't imagine before.life as a student is not that different when i had a career. it's a different kind of hardship.but i am thankful because i have family that i can turn to.so i go back to my parent's house and jobless at the age of 28. I felt so uneasy while writing this. at my age I should earn my own money not live under parent's roof.i have no control over this matter.i'll just have to endure and buat muka tembok. hehe...no choice...

Insya Allah everything will be fine...berdoa pada Allah dibukakan pintu rezeki dan berkatilah segala usaha yang dilakukan untuk memajukan diri...AMIN...